The Potato?
by Lozy-2610
Summary: What will happen when a strange and possibly dangerous object gets thrown at Zetsu and Tobi. And what will happen when Kakuzu and Deidara get dragged into the mess.


**Authors Note:** This is just a random fic I made about Zetsu, Tobi and Deidara based on the word potato. Zetsu goes really OOC at the end but apart from that I don't think the rest are too bad... maybe Kakuzu abit aswell... Oh yeah, and sadly, I don't own Naruto :(

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**The… Potato?**

Two figures in dark robes sat with their heads inclined, staring intently at something in front of them.

"What is it, Zetsu-san?" Tobi asked, prodding the object in question with a stick. It rolled about 5cm before coming to a stop at the trunk of a tree. "It looks like a potato from here. But from here…" He tilted his head to the opposite side and squinted. "… it sort of looks like kakuzu-san."

"I think your first guess is more likely to be right, Tobi." Zetsu replied.

"Hmm… but that doesn't make sense. Why would somebody throw a potato at us?" The masked man questioned.

"I don't know." Zetsu answered patiently.

Tobi suddenly leapt to his feet excitedly. "I know! It's probably some kind of bomb! I'll go and get sempai! He'll know!" He rushed off in the direction of the base, his cries of 'sempai' echoing around the forest.

"Tobi! Wait! It's probably just…" Zetsu called after him but trailed off after realising he'd already gone. "Oh dear…"

"**Deidara is going to blow him up for disturbing him while he's working on his 'art'.**" His black side commented.

"Shouldn't we do something?"

"**Nah. Leader will sort them out before things get too far…**"

The sound of a large explosion and lots of shouting disturbed the peacefulness of the forest. Both halves of Zetsu felt dread wash over them as they thought of what Tobi could have possibly done this time. It wasn't so long ago that Tobi blew up a decent sized section of head-quarters after accidentally setting off Deidara's latest sculpture. The whole of the Akatsuki (except the Leader, naturally) had to work together to re-build the base, and the standard of team work between them lead to Kakuzu losing one of his lives, Hidan's beheading, Kisame suffering tsukuyomi and Deidara almost blowing it all to smithereens again. Zetsu himself had only just avoided Konan's attack by diving underground.

"I'm starting to think that Deidara's request for a restraining order against Tobi wasn't such a bad idea after all."

Zetsu was interrupted from his thoughts as the sound of footsteps and screeching came in his direction.

"TOBI, GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT, YEAH!! I SWEAR TO GOD, THIS TIME I WILL ACTUALLY KILL YOU!! I DON'T CARE WHAT LEADER SAYS, YEAH!!" Deidara's voice could probably be heard all the way in Konoha.

"AHHHH!! HELP ME ZETSU-SAN!!" Zetsu was suddenly pushed to the ground as a black and red blur jumped onto him, screaming nonsense. Zetsu pushed Tobi off and stood up. He was just dusting himself off as Deidara came running into the clearing.

"Where is he?! He's gone too far this time, un!" Deidara growled, looking around. Zetsu struggled to hold in a laugh as he took in Deidara's appearance. His face was completely black, and his hair was sticking up at odd angles around his head and covered in dirt.

"**I've no idea.**" Zetsu's black half blatantly lied, as he glanced at Tobi sitting in the tree behind Deidara, his frantic gestures begging Zetsu not to reveal his location.

Deidara's angry gaze landed on Zetsu. "You put him up to it, didn't you, hmm?" He hissed, advancing angrily on Zetsu, his hand reaching into the pouch where he kept his explosive clay.

Zetsu took a step back, struggling to keep the panic off his face. "I don't know what you're talking about. I only asked Tobi to go and fetch you because we needed your help with something." He explained.

Deidara paused. "…my… help?" He questioned.

"Errr… yeah… you see, we found this… _thing_… that we thought might be an explosive, so we thought we'd ask your opinion on it, seeing as you are an expert in this field. Obviously it would never compare to your… errm… _art_…" Zetsu explained.

Deidara puffed himself up, obviously flattered by the compliment, while Zetsu struggled not to puke at what he was forced into saying.

"**I never thought such a big amount of bullshit would ever pass our lips**." His black half muttered.

"Shhh! He'll hear!" His white half whispered back.

"So, what did you want me to look at?" Deidara asked eagerly.

Seeing that Deidara had now calmed down, Tobi flew down from the tree and beckoned him over to where the unidentified object lay at the foot of a tree. "Here, Sempai." He pointed at the potato shaped thing. Zetsu and Deidara both walked over to it.

Deidara's eye twitched as looked at the object. "It's a potato, un."

"Yes, but Sempai, it could be an exploding potato!" Tobi said getting excited all over again.

Deidara's hand went back into the pouch with the exploding clay. "Someone else is going to be an exploding potato in a second." He growled. "And it's not going to be me or Zetsu."

"But Deidara-sempai, that's mean! What's Kakuzu-san ever done to you?!" He exclaimed.

"Huh?" Deidara asked confused.

"Look." Tobi tilted his head to the left and squinted. "If you do this it looks like Kakuzu-san." Tobi explained.

Deidara copied Tobi and started to snicker. "Yeah, it kinda does, un!"

"What's so funny?" All three shinobi turned around to see the object of their amusement (the real one, not the potato) stood behind them.

"**Nothing much. Did you want something?**" Zetsu's black half asked, attempting to contain the laughter that was threatening to burst out. To his left, the other two were having less success. Tobi was giggling insanely, whilst Deidara rolled around on the floor, crying his eyes out with mirth.

Kakuzu eyed all three of them warily, not quite sure what to make of their sudden outbursts of laughter. "Leader asked me to come and get Tobi and Deidara. He wants to speak to them about blowing up his office." He explained.

Zetsu couldn't keep in the laughter any longer. "You blew up his office!" He started laughing hysterically. "You're both going to be murdered!"

"**What morons!**" His black side added.

This comment seemed to sober the other two up, who both started walking very quickly away from the base. "Tell leader we've gone to go capture the three tails!" Deidara shouted back.

"Yeah, we'll be back in a couple of months, Kakuzu-san!" Tobi added over his shoulder. "See you soon, Zetsu-san!"

Kakuzu looked away from the spot the two had disappeared from and back to where Zetsu stood laughing.

"Tell leader I've gone to gather information on Orochimaru and I'll be back in about a month." Zetsu said before merging with the forest floor and disappearing from view, leaving a very confused Kakuzu stood in the forest alone.

Suddenly, something caught his attention out of the corner of his eye. He wandered over to where the potato lay and picked it up. "So that's where Hidan threw it." He tossed the potato up into the air and caught it again. "He takes this game way too seriously."

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Hope you enjoyed and pretty please review!

Oh and btw, I love them all really before anyone has a go at me for dissin' them. It's just so much fun to bully them lol


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